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Cat Defender

Exposing the Lies and Crimes of Bird Advocates, Wildlife Biologists, the United States Fish and Wildlife Service, PETA, the Humane Society of the United States, Exterminators, Vivisectors, the Scientific Community, Fur Traffickers, Cloners, Breeders, Designer Pet Purveyors, Hoarders, Motorists, the United States Military, and Other Ailurophobes

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Alleged Use of Cats in Order to Make Bio-Diesel Fuel Creates Uproar in Deutschland

With Benzin retailing for more than $7 a gallon, Deutschland desperately needs a cheaper alternative but not one which is made from cats. That was the reaction last week to a newspaper report that a German inventor had developed a bio-diesel fuel out of dead cats and other organic materials. A headline in the September 13th edition of Bild proclaimed Deutscher Erfinder kann aus Katchen Benzin machen, while above it a kicker added der Todesstoss, Fur eine Tankfullung braucht er 20 Miezen.

The reaction from stunned and outraged ailurophiles was swift and predictable. Wolfgang Apel, president of the Deutschland Tierschutzverein, was quick to point out that while using dead cats as fuel was illegal, his organization nonetheless intended to keep a close eye on the situation.

Once the shit had hit the proverbial fan, the inventor, Christian Koch, 55, from the state of Sachsen (See photo of him filling his tank), was quick to deny that he used dead cats in order to make his new fuel. "I use paper, plastics, textiles, and rubbish," he later told Reuters. "It's an alternative fuel that is friendly for the environment. But it's complete nonsense to suggest dead cats. I've never used cats and would never think of that." The authors of the original story, Jurgen Helfricht and Sven Gunther, were quick to admit that Koch had never told them explicitly that he used dead cats and that their story was meant only to imply that Katzen could in theory be used to make Benzin.

Despite having uttered that unequivocal denial, Koch then proceeded in the very next sentence to utter the stunning non sequitur: "At most the odd toad may have jumped in." It is therefore hard to know if he is indeed using cats and other animals at his plant. If he is, it can be safely said that they are not willingly jumping into the tank.

Koch claims that his firm, Alphakat GmbH, can produce bio-diesel fuel for about .23 euros (.30 US) a liter and the original article in Bild quoted him as saying that adding twenty cats to the mix could produce enough fuel to fill a fifty-liter (11 gallon) tank. Koch uses his patented Catalytic Pressureless Depolymerisation (KDV 500) machine (See photo below) to convert waste into Benzin and he claims to have driven his diesel-powered car on the mixture 170,000 kilometers (106,000 miles) without a hitch.

Despite the success of his undertaking, it is wrong to use feline cadavers in order to make Benzin or anything else for that matter. Katzen are entitled to proper, undisturbed burials just like any other living creature once their short, tragic lives come to an end.

Photos: Deutsche Welle, Bild, and www.alphakat.de.